Staying Self Employed? A Road to Finding My Passion

I have known since I started my photography business full-time June 2014 that I wanted to be self employed, and combine my different skills and passions into a sustainable business. Because I didn’t have time to take a step back and analyse the situation + prepare before my big move to Scotland, I actually just had to take a corporate job in a big multinational company. The incentive for this was primarily financial, and it has made me feel like a failure.

I moved to a new country and didn’t work hard enough prior to the move to secure clients and even know what I really wanted to do when I arrived. My mindset has always been that things will sort themselves out, but that’s not entirely bound to happen every time.

The only person who can do anything about this slightly depressive situation is me, so here I am, pouring my heart out to make a change. Read on if you’re interested in knowing more about me as a person, on my path to finding my passion. The entire post is motivated by Kristel Kayser’s “Find Your Passion In 5 Days” training that you can find here.

I will go through the challenges step by step in this blogpost, and hopefully in the end I will have a vision of where I want to be, and be motivated to get there, incrementally moving towards a new set of goals and accomplishing intrinsic greatness in 2016.

Find Your Passion Day 1

Why Is It Important For Me To Find My Passion

  1. I want to have a purpose in my life. The feeling of not living purposefully is detrimental to me, and on a deep level that is why I would keep on living. I want to mean something for someone using the power I possess (knowledge, empathy) and the skills (creativity, technology) I have.
  2. I want to use my skills and knowledge to their full extent. Lately, I feel like they have been deprived of expanding, and when not being used, my academical knowledge, capability of discussing and thinking critically is fading.
  3. I want to have freedom in how I spend my time, because I want to travel more. I want financial freedom and freedom to change and grow along with my own business.

A Visualisation Of A Perfect Life

Another part of the Day 1 exercise was to write down how a perfect day in a perfect life would look like. This is mainly revolved around what I experience in the first moments of my day, where I am and how my life looks in this particular moment in time. I am not attempting to describe my perfect day of work, just the feeling I have when waking up. Here goes!

I wake up feeling refreshed, it’s sunny but chilly outside, and I have a clear vision of how I’m spending my day and what important tasks I need to accomplish this particular day to feel productive. Plenty of daylight is flowing through my window, and there’s a frosty feeling in the air. I have the freedom to have a slow morning, waking up listening to my favourite podcast while still in my slippers, brewing coffee in my kitchen, curling up in my favourite chair while enjoying the scent and flavour of home, fresh bread, coffee beans and my husbands perfume as he leaves for work. After a short while I’m having a shower and freshen up, ready to take on the world. It’s still early, maybe not 8 am yet, but I’m ready to start making things happen. I am slipping on the latest effortless fashion, and I expose my uniqueness and beautiful individual, feeling confident. Outside my apartment, a busy city is oozing of life, coffee shops are opening, signs are put out on the streets, the streets are full of busy people.

How Do People Describe The New “Me”, The Woman Who Found Her Passion

She is a colourful, outgoing and inspiring person. She’s knowledgable, resourceful and has a lot of personal and professional connections. She’s got tons of excess energy for creativity and charity, and she’s genuinely interested in people’s lives, and she wants to know more about them, their goals and dreams. Her confidence is radiant, not the way she used to be – captive of other people’s well-meaning suggestions and recommendations on what to do with her life. She’s not a pushover anymore, but she’s determined to do things that makes sense to her, and not necessarily everyone else.

Find Your Passion Day 2

Identify Three Reasons I Haven’t Yet Found My Passion

  1. I have been too lazy. I practically haven’t worked enough hours, however always feeling busy. I’ve been procrastinating because I haven’t really had the knowledge to know where to start with building my business in a new country. I was too lazy before the big move, and now I can’t reap the fruits, stuck in a feeling of helplessness.
  2. I haven’t practiced enough. I haven’t actively been outside enough practicing my skills. I should have been doing more hours on my free time to photograph and practice to become a better photographer, to discuss sustainability and business resource management, to learn and develop as a human being. I haven’t worked enough with editing and development of my style and I haven’t critiqued myself in a meaningful and constructive way, thus haven’t learnt enough from my mistakes.
  3. I have been held back by second thoughts. I have been unsure about what I really want to focus on, because it’s daunting to make decision about what I want to “become when I grow up”. I have recently been wanting to use my education, and unsure about if photography really is what I want to do after all.
  4. I know I was only supposed to list 3 excuses, but this point is important. I want to be that vibrant, outgoing personality, but I’m not and that is annoying. I’m just too shy or afraid that what I produce, communicate or publish isn’t good enough, isn’t relevant enough, isn’t interesting enough. I have a constant feeling that I haven’t done enough research to have an opinion on the subjects that really matter to me.

After writing down the three (four) reasons for why I think I haven’t yet found my passion, I thought of some things I really want to start doing. I want to read more, learn more, talk with people more, discuss more, without being afraid of not being smart enough. I know I am a smart person, I just need to use my brain more and develop the necessary skills of communicating about my passion with people who are genuinely interested in what I want to accomplish.

Find Your Passion Day 3

My Declaration Of Power And That I Will Start Living My Dream

I declare that my future starts right now, and I know that I’m the only person with the power to make a change and achieve the goals that I set. I actually have gained more clarity on what I want to do, and I have visualised specific steps on how to get there. Within me I have the power to make this happen. I want to combine my creative skills to build my brand and image, together with my passion for environment, people and animals, to help creative business be more sustainable. I want to create a fusion between creative photography, my academical knowledge, skills in digital technology, concern for the environment and love for people and animals. Where will this take me? I don’t know, and I can fine-tune it along the way, but I know that I can do it and I have to start doing it now!

Find Your Passion Day 4

One Thing That Can Help Me Find My Passion Right Now – Take Action!

What I need to do, is reach out to people I want to learn from, and/or work with. Specifically, reaching out to my local community to contribute voluntarily, and search for potential customers or collaborators, talking with them about what I want to do, about how I can help them, or they can help me. Basically, I need to go out there and talk with people! I need to grow and develop the communication skills I know I need to accomplish what I want.

Find Your Passion Day 5

Exploring My Passion In Action – Reaching Out For Real

I’m on it! Wish me luck.

3 Comments

  • 2 years ago

    I LOVE this post! It’s so inspiring. And it actually hits quite close to home. Have you read up about impostor syndrome? That sounds very much like your point 4 on your excuses list! Anyway thanks for the read and the nudge to push myself more this year! I think you will be just fine in Scotland!

    • 2 years ago

      Thank you so much for your comments on this post, Fiona! I’m really happy you were inspired by it. All the best to you and your accomplishments!

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